Ask A Man 18 Sep

Ask A Man 17 Sept '24: 'My partner is not giving me attention'

Anonymous says she started dating her current partner after meeting him at her child’s school and adds that he has a good relationship with her child.  Anonymous says they went on with their relationship and she fell pregnant unintentionally as they were relying on the “pull-out” method. Anonymous says she terminated her pregnancy because she felt like they were not financially prepared at the time.  Anonymous says they met around the Covid period, and he he wasn’t working at the time and was available for her. He’s back at work now and anonymous says she feels like he’s not making time for her and has said to her that he’s just currently really hectic.  Anonymous says she has no reason to suspect that he’s cheating and just feels like their relationship is stagnant. She loves him and doesn’t know what to do.

Ask A Man 16 Sep '24: 'My partner doesn't contribute when he stays over t my place'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her current partner for the last year and says the relationship has been good for the most part.  Anonymous says her partner told her he was being evicted from his place and was cagy about the information when he needed to move, but anonymous later realised that he actually used to live with someone at that place and the lease was under that partners name, hence he needed to leave.  Anonymous says she overlooked this and they continued with their relationship, anonymous even allowed him to move in with her and her kids while he finds a place.  Anonymous says during the time he lived with her he was not contributing in the household. He has now moved out to his own place but anonymous says he visits a lot and still doesn’t contribute to the household.  Anonymous says she also caught him speaking on the phone with another lady and suspects that he might be cheating but he says that’s not the case.

Ask A Man 13 Sep '24: 'Is my partner taking our relationship seriously?'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner for 9 months and says they keep getting into conflicts and he doesn’t understand why this keeps happening.  Anonymous says his partner is slightly older than him in her thirties and he’s in his twenties, anonymous adds that she has a child. Anonymous says one of the things is that he’s an indoors kind of person and she likes to go out, which has created tension between them.  Anonymous says he once caught her cheating on him and she lied about it. Anonymous says he’s not sure if she’s present in the relationship and wants to be in it or not. 

Ask A Man 12 Sep '24: 'Can he love me despite all the things he's done to me?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 5 years now and they have a child together. Anonymous says the relationship was great however she realised about two years ago that he had been cheating on her throughout their relationship. Anonymous says she confronted him about this, he apologised and they moved on with their relationship.  Anonymous says she then found out that he was cheating again, and they separated but later got back together.  Anonymous says fast forward to this year, she met a new guy and says he treats her well and they’ve built something. Anonymous says her partner found out that she has someone new and she told her partner that she wants to break up with him because she doesn’t trust him anymore.  Anonymous says she wants to leave her partner but he doesn’t want to break up with her and says he’s stopped cheating. Anonymous is not sure if he really does love her after all he’s done to her.

Ask A Man 11 Sept '24: 'Am I demanding for too much?'

Anonymous says her relationship with guy no.1 lasted about 6 months. Anonymous says she has a son and because of this she gave the guy ground rules to say they’d be spending time outside and he could never sleep over. Anonymous says these limitations seem to have caused tension in their relationship and they eventually broke things off.  Anonymous says her most recent relationship, guy no.2, is someone she dated 10 years ago and they got back together. Anonymous says she feels like the guy doesn’t give her much attention, especially when they are spending time together, and when she brings this up, he doesn’t respond positively to her.  Anonymous says she is not sure if maybe she is the problem in these relationships.

Ask A Man 10 Sep '24: 'I love her but her mother is the problem.'

Anonymous says he’s dating his current girlfriend for a second time, after initially dating for a year and breaking up.  Anonymous says they’ve now been dating for several years and their relationship is fine however the problem is his girlfriend’s mother.  He says recently his girlfriend and her mother asked him to come pick them up and while he was driving with them in the car, they overheard him talking to a friend about colleagues that are taking advantage of him, but misunderstood and thought that he was talking about them. That created a rift, with the mother saying they don’t need him and suggesting that they are not his charity case. Anonymous says the mother told him not to contact them and now anonymous and his girlfriend are not on speaking terms.  Anonymous says when they got back together he was told that his girlfriend has someone and he’s just friend.

Ask a Man 09 Sep '24: 'Is it ok to be ok with being a side chick.'

Anonymous says she’s in her mid thirties and has three kids from three different men. Anonymous says the first child was as a result of being young. She was in love with the second guy but he didn’t love her, and then with the third guy she didn’t love him but fell pregnant by accident with his child and she tried to develop something with him but it didn’t work. Anonymous says she’s now in the talking stage with a fourth guy, who’s dating someone else, and says he’s in love with her and she likes him too but she doesn’t want anything too deep with him, and has explained to him that she’s ok being a sidekick.  Anonymous wonders if she’s selling herself short with this request.

Ask A Man 06 Sept '24: 'My partner of 4 months is a social media stalker.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating a lady for the last four months and things have been good, however, he says she’s constantly stalking his social media pages.  Anonymous says he’s an entrepreneur and posts to promote his business and she’s always asking him about people commenting on his pages.  Anonymous says it’s too much for him and doesn’t know if he should move forward with her.

Ask A Man 05 Sep '24: 'I tried monogamy and it's not for me.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 2 years and says when they met each other she told the guy at the time that she’s not really into monogamy and wasn’t looking for anything serious. He told her that he’s not into that and wants something serious.  Despite their differences they continued with their relationship and anonymous says she fell for him and she enjoyed the relationship. However, anonymous says she’s enjoying the relationship a lot but still feels like she doesn’t want to be monogamous.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to move forward. 

Ask A Man 04 Sep '24: 'My two partners have partners and one of them is pregnant.'

Anonymous says he’s in his late twenties and says he’s known girl no.1 since they were really young  and says after going through somethings they broke up and he moved on with his life but over the years he and girl no.1 kept up with each other and would hook up here and there.  Anonymous says he met girl no.2 at work and it was love at first sight, however, after becoming a couple she told anonymous that she’s actually in a long distance relationship with a guy from her hometown, however, they continued and anonymous says he fell deeply for her.  Anonymous says time has gone by and she was still with the guy from back home. Anonymous says this has caused a rift and he ended up finding himself in the arms of girl no.1 again, who is also in a relationship with someone else. Anonymous says girl no.1 is now pregnant and is not sure if anonymous is the father.

Ask A Man 30 Aug '24: 'My partner cheated on me with his cousin'

Anonymous says he’s been dating his partner since high school and they were each other’s neighbours. Anonymous says their relationship really took off when they were in varsity and they even came out to their families.  Anonymous says their relationship has been great and says his partner has been a very supportive partner. However, anonymous says recently he came back home unexpectedly and found his partner having sex with his own cousin and anonymous says after confronting his partner, the partner told him that he had resorted to cheating on him because anonymous’ sex drive is low.  Anonymous is not sure if he should continue with the relationship.

Ask A Man 02 Sep '24: 'When culture clashes come in the way.'

Anonymous says she met her now ex fiancé back in 2018 while working together. Anonymous says things got off to a rocky start and they broke up because he was dealing with another women that he had impregnated.  Anonymous says they dated again years later, while she was pregnant with her first child. Anonymous says a problem in their relationship is that her partner wanted more sexual intimacy than anonymous could offer, and that caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says she fell pregnant with his child and things got even more rocky during pregnancy and they experienced a lot of conflict during that time.  Anonymous says he’s family paid lobola for her, however she struggled with the up keep of his family’s cultural traditions, some of which clashed with her religion and that’s what has led to them now breaking up. Anonymous says she’s struggling to let him go.

Ask A Man 30 Aug '24: 'How do I navigate the dating game after 12 years in a relationship?'

Anonymous says he’s back on the market after 12 years in a relationship and says he’s just made his return into the dating game and he says he’s not understanding dating these days, he feels like the game has changed.  Anonymous says he’s an indoors kind of person but feels like the people he keeps meeting are just all over the place, always going out, something he doesn’t get. Anonymous needs help dating again. 

Ask A Man 29 Aug '24: 'Am I selfish for not wanting another baby with my partner?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since high school, however, in their matric year he impregnated another girl, she also fell pregnant around the same time and they continued with their relationship.  Anonymous says they’ve been together for 24 years now but he did have an affair with another woman for about 2 years 10 years ago, but they’ve since moved on from that. Anonymous says they had agreed they would not have more kids, however, he has now changed his mind and as a result of family pressure, he wants to have another child, but she’s not interested.  Anonymous says she doesn’t want another child as she feels like she doesn’t have the capacity to raise another child. Anonymous says this has now caused a rift in their relationship and she’s not sure if she’s being selfish for not wanting to have another child.

Ask A Man 28 Aug '24: 'The mother of my partner's baby is always visiting his family home'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since November last year and says the relationship was fine until her partner introduced her to his family.  Anonymous says her partner lives with his family and says the mother of his child is always there with his family. Anonymous says she brought up that she’s not comfortable with how often his ex visits but that only ended up causing a rift between her and his family and led to tension within their relationship.  Anonymous says they also have other issues in their relationship, however she feels like he never wants to address any conflicts they run into in their relationship. Anonymous says he tends to go quiet and she’s always the one to reach out to him to try and resolve the conflict.  Anonymous is not sure if she should remain in this relationship and wonders if she might be the problem.

Ask A Man 27 Aug '24: 'My partner is always discussing our issues on his radio show.'

Anonymous says she’s been dating her partner for 10 months and he is a radio presenter. Anonymous says she’s noticed a pattern in their relationship, she says overtime they have a relationship quarrel he takes it to air on his show, even tough he refuses to discuss those things with her when she brings them up.  Anonymous says another issue is that he is not earning much and says she’s tried to motivate him to make career moves that would lead him to doing better financially, however, anonymous says he doesn’t really take her advice and has gone on air speaking about partners that try to control you.  Anonymous doesn’t know how to feel about all this.

Ask A Man 26 Aug '24: 'My ex partner is focused on us and not the kids.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for 12 years and says she was a side chick for the first two years of their relationship. Anonymous says while in the relationship she had a one night stand and fell pregnant.  Anonymous says her partner found out that the child wasn’t his, something he wasn’t happy about but decided to remain in a relationship with anonymous because he loved her. Anonymous says years later they now have two children together.  Anonymous says her partner has been emotionally abusive towards her over the years. She adds that he lost his job at some point and stopped supporting her and the children.  Anonymous says over the last year he started cheating on her and despite having money now, he is not supporting the children. Anonymous is not sure how to move forward.

Ask A Man 23 Aug '24: 'Should I return to my cheating ex?'

Anonymous says she dated her ex for 5 years and he cheated on her multiple times. Anonymous says she eventually broke up with him because of his cheating ways. Anonymous says before she broke things off with him, he revealed that he was HIV positive.  Anonymous says she moved on and dated someone else but ended that relationship because the guy was a bit dodgy. Anonymous says her ex now wants her back and she’s not sure if she should get back together with him because despite he’s cheating ways, he used to be good to her as a partne

Ask A Man 22 Aug '24: 'Is my partner still committed to his baby mama or me?

Anonymous says she met a guy last year while she was in a relationship and that guy was also in a relationship. Anonymous says they wanted to break up with their partners but she made him delay his break as his partner at the time was pregnant and she advised that he wait until she gives birth.  Anonymous says they kept their relationship a secret until his parents caught her with him. Anonymous says he’s still kind of with the baby mama, who lives with him and his parents, and says she’s not sure if he’s fooling her.  Anonymous says he tends to not communicate when he’s not with her and says when he is with her, the mother of his child is always calling needing things from him. Anonymous says she’s not sure if she should hold on and wait on him to commit fully to her or just move on.